1. My first European Holiday – Contiki Tour Nightmare
For my very first trip to Europe I decided to go on a London to Athens Contiki tour. Unfortunately, I shared a room with a stocky white guy from South Africa who snored like a wild animal.
Anyway, his snoring meant that I didn’t sleep very well most nights, and towards the end of the trip while on the Greek island of Corfu, I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked out into the Divani Palace hotel reception foyer with a pillow and blanket and tried to get some sleep on the foyer couch. I kept my mouth shut the whole time I was on tour. No one else knew about it, not even the snorer. When a few late partygoers arrived back at the hotel, I revealed to them why I was sleeping on the sofa, since it looked pretty weird.
In the morning someone told me they had walked past my hotel room and could easily hear the snoring in the hallway like a jet engine revving. My female Kiwi tour guide found out about it on the same day. She asked me why I didn’t tell her about it sooner, because she could have rotated room sharers. By that time only a couple of days were left to go on our tour, so it was just about over anyway. I should’ve opened my mouth way sooner.
The best night sleep I had on my trip was after attending a beer hall in Munich, Germany. I think I drank at least two large steins, around a couple of litres of beer. When we left on the bus later on, as soon as the bus driver took the first turn, I grabbed a sick bag. The driver had hung them next to each row of seats in readiness. I was sick as a dog. Luckily the bag was within easy reach.
After the bus arrived at our hotel I felt so bad that as soon as I stepped off the bus, I laid down on the ground next to the bus on the road. I wouldn’t get up and no one could persuade me to get up either. My head was seriously spinning around. After a while, I managed to slowly get up and somehow managed to stumble to my room, which apparently took about half an hour.
In the morning to my surprise I actually woke up totally refreshed. It was like an anti-hangover. It must have been because I was seriously knocked out. It blocked out all of the wild animal snoring completely, which allowed me to get some decent sleep.
Which Greek God devised this torture? The Gods or Goddesses obviously wanted to snarl at me for some reason.
2. Scammed by Sirens in Greece not Once but Twice
Greeks and their drink scams. Beware any lady asking you to buy them a drink in certain bars and establishments, especially strip clubs. They will act all friendly and ask you to buy them a drink. Whatever you do, don’t do it unless you pay cash for each and every drink at the time you buy it. Otherwise you’ll most likely be handed a hefty bill soon after the drinks arrive, or sometime later on in the night. It doesn’t even matter if the prices you saw or asked about were totally different at the time of purchase.
I’ve fallen for this scam twice under different guises, so I can tell you these sirens sent by the Greek Gods and Goddesses to scam gullible guys are true masters of their game. One of the she-devils even told me she was a professional drinker. I thought she was joking.
On the second occasion, after chatting for a short while and me buying a round of drinks, I was asked by a siren if she could buy me a drink. After being surprised from a couple of repeated requests and not really giving it much thought, I half-heartedly accepted. A big gotcha moment occurred later on, when the goon squad argued “why would a lady want to buy you a drink” in defence of an astronomical bill I had to pay.
Expect to pay anywhere from €50 to €250 if you fall for it. As time goes by and greediness increases, you’ll probably pay even more.
The Greek Gods and Goddesses made me feel like a complete fool not once but twice. Seriously, beware of Sirens in Greece.
3. Cruising the Greek Islands while not being able to Eat
My first and only cruise ship holiday around the Greek Islands turned out to be a big disappointment. On the very first night out at sea while just about to have dinner, the weather changed dramatically. While at a restaurant table waiting for my dinner to arrive, the boat started to sway. I hadn’t noticed anything before this time point. The boat started rocking and things were actually swaying around. Things started moving. I started feeling queasy and as soon as my meal arrived I felt sick to the stomach.
I had to lie down quickly, otherwise I felt I would throw up. I left my meal on the table, quietly departed from the table, and quickly stumbled back to my room. All the way back I was swaying from side to side like a drunken fool. It was rough, real rough. I felt quite sick by the time I arrived back at the room, though I was thankful I didn’t spew up. Lying down on bed made me feel a bit better. The humidity and stuffiness of the room made me take my shirt off.
I started reading and eventually fell sleep. When I woke up in the morning my throat was killing me. It was so dry. I noticed the air-conditioner felt quite strong. My body was freezing. I put it down to that. Maybe a combination of sea sickness and the cold air had caused my throat to feel like hell. My chest felt cold as ice.
For the next few days of the cruise I couldn’t eat any solid food. Swallowing anything felt extremely painful. Drinking hurt as well, as did any gulping motion. I surrendered myself to eating watermelon slices and soupy dishes for the entire 5 day cruise. I also found it difficult to talk. Anything that put a strain on my throat caused pain.
My cruise around the Greek islands had been spoiled. The weather turned perfect after that first night and the seas stayed calm for the rest of the trip. When I arrived at Santorini, our final Greek island stop, my throat still felt as if I had a lump in it. Santorini looked absolutely magnificent, but it was a bitter pill for me to swallow.
Poseidon, God of the sea, had it in for me for some reason.
To top it off when I arrived up the top of one of the cliffs in Santorini, I could only stay for a very short period of time before I had to get back to the cruise ship again for departure. It felt like I only had around 1 hour to play with. I sat down at a cafe with straw covered umbrellas and took in the great views, kicking myself for going on this Greek island cruise. I bought an expensive slice of cake and a coke and sipped away, thinking the cruise was an absolute nightmare. I think the cruise ship can be seen under the straw umbrella in the photo below.
Poseidon spoilt my first trip to Santorini by rocking my cruise ship.
4. Broken sunglasses at Super Paradise
I had just arrived at Super Paradise beach in Mykonos for the very first time on my quad bike. I parked it up high on a hill as the hire firm had advised. They advised me to do this because the quad bike would probably not be able to get back up the extremely steep hill when leaving.
Once parked I took off my helmet and soon after thought about my sunnies. Where the hell were my sunglasses? They weren’t on top of my head. I was surprised I wasn’t wearing them. They weren’t on me. Then I looked down on the ground and saw them laying there in the dirt. When I picked them up one lens had been broken. How the hell did that happen? I wasn’t happy. These were really expensive Maui Jim sunnies. How the hell this happened I don’t know, and even today I haven’t come up with a good enough answer to satisfy my curiosity.
The sun blazed away and now I would have no sunglasses to wear at Super Paradise beach. After a while on the beach I became desperate for a pair of sunnies to wear. I went into the shop close to the Super Paradise beach bar and bought a pair of very cheap sunnies, spending around €20. It had a red handle on one side and a yellow handle on the other. I thought these looked kind of cool. The price was good and they were cheap.
After my holiday in Greece had finished, I realised I probably looked gay walking around with these frames. And no I’m not gay!
I put it down to Apollo, he’s closely associated with the sun. Why Apollo?
Here I am wearing those red and yellow sunnies on Mount Cynthus in the isle of Delos, a day or so after the Super Paradise incident. You can just make out the yellow side of the sunglasses.
5. The Greek Gods piss me off from Mount Olympus
~ Get the hell out of here ~
That was the savage message I got during a trip of mine to Mount Olympus in Greece. Another post will explain exactly how this dissapointing message came through when I attempted to climb Mount Olympus in northern Greece.
Prayer to the Gods and Goddesses
Oh, mighty Greek Gods and Goddesses! Mighty Apollo! Consider me your champion in this world of pleasure and pain. Till we meet again.
